In a relationship, we may often feel triggered.There are several reasons why this might occur. People usually want partnerships in which they may create a safe environment for conversation and emotional exchange. However, in a triggered connection, it might have an impact on space and produce problems. This can also widen the distance between two people, resulting in miscommunication, irritation, and animosity. This can potentially lead to the end of the relationship. When we become aware of the reasons why we are triggered, we may address them more effectively.
Common reasons for feeling triggered:
Feeling offended or disrespected? Respect is really important in any relationship. When we feel constantly stifled, offended, or mistreated, we may get triggered. That is why, when my partner makes an inappropriate remark or says anything insulting, we argue.
Couples’ conversations can get messy because of inflated meanings and insults, which can expose deeply ingrained histories and experiences. These feelings of anger are more common in close relationships, when people can interpret each other’s words, tone of voice, and movements of the face. The reason for this is that relationships that began sweetly and simply can become into hotbeds of projection and anger.
Past experiences: Trauma or poor experiences in previous relationships can make people more sensitive to current behaviors or actions.
Feeling scared or intimidated due to mood changes or past trauma can trigger a relationship.
Connection styles: Our early ties with caregivers influence how we interact with others. Anxious attachment types can cause people to misinterpret messages and feel insecure, whereas dismissive attachment styles can lead to emotional isolation.
Unfulfilled needs: If our demands for connection, respect, or security are not met in the relationship, we may become frustrated and upset.
In a relationship, it’s crucial to show care and express emotions, as feeling unvalued can trigger questioning and question one’s existence.
Old feelings may resurface, and a potential threat to the relationship can lead to rash reactions, argument, or frustration.
If we want to build a clearer, more honest, and compassionate way of observing and connecting to our spouse, we should first understand the underlying psychological causes of the unpleasant thoughts and feelings that are being triggered.
Here are some factors to examine that can help us understand and conquer our triggers.
Our Inner Critic Speaks.There could be various reasons why we feel triggered by our relationship. For starters, we are usually dealing with what the other person says or does, as well as what we are telling ourselves about what they are saying or doing. We all have a “critical inner voice” that helps us understand ourselves and others. This inner critic is generated as a result of unpleasant early life events.
Our Record of Attachments
Exploring our attachment history might help us understand why certain behaviors trigger us and how we interpret our partners’ actions. Attachment patterns formed throughout early childhood shape our behavior and expectations, as well as our critical inner voice.
Our Main Feelings
In a close relationship, we are likely to get emotionally stirred up in addition to having critical thoughts appear. We rarely realize that the intensity of our feelings is mostly a result of being triggered by our history, even though we may believe that our emotions are reasonable reactions to actual occurrences.
